One of the most vivid and heart-wrenching memories I hold from my university years is my first industrial drawing class. It was an afternoon session. I walked in with my friends, a mix of nervous anticipation and curiosity swirling inside me. I sat down, ready to tackle this new challenge, but as soon as the instructor gave the first task, I froze. I had no idea where to start.
The embarrassment of not knowing felt like a spotlight was on me, and the moment was made worse when I became the target of some mocking comments. It wasn’t just a simple critique, it felt like a jab at my ability to belong in this field. At that moment, the fragile confidence I had been trying to build shattered completely. Being someone with a strong math and physics background but little exposure to technical drawing, I already felt like I was playing catch-up. That day, it felt like the game was over before it had even begun.
From then on, I started carrying a relentless, self-critical loudspeaker in my mind, constantly broadcasting the same harsh message: “You suck at this.” Every project, every assignment, every moment in that field seemed to echo it back to me.
It wasn’t until a much bigger failure later, failing the second year that I realized something crucial: that loudspeaker needed to be muted or better yet, I needed to stop giving it my attention. And my confidence rebuild journey began.
If you’re struggling with self-confidence overall or confidence in a certain field, I hope this will help you.
Here’s my first realisation that should have been obvious to me at the beginning:
You will always suck at something you have never done before (unless you are naturally gifted which has a probability of 0.01%). The people who have mocked you also sucked at first. So How can we build the confidence to help us move forward?
If first starts with courage. The courage to jump into something knowing you may suck. It is not a good feeling but believing in its normalcy makes it suck less.
Once you muster the courage and begin to do it over and over. You will fail at times, learn then succeed. At the end, you will gather enough successes that will act as evidence to your brain that you are competent at this. And that’s how confidence is built.
It is not complicated. It just takes time and a will to learn.
In my last year of university, I ranked high in my class, something I never thought would happen. I just needed the right mindset shift to allow myself to shine. Did the loudspeaker disappear ? Not completely. But I recognize the sound and I say it’s normal for myself to feel this way and I just say “I am not good at this NOW” but I will learn it instead of “I am not good at at all”.
This advice doesn’t apply to career or studies only. It translates to everything in life. To me everything, like really everything is a skill you can build and master.
If you don’t feel not confident about your looks, you can change that.
If you feel not confident about public speaking, you can change that.
If you don’t feel confident about starting new sport, you can change that.
I wasn’t confident in my running abilities. I tried running again in 2020 and was howling and dying for air at kilometre 2. And I told myself running is not for me. I was not built for it. Now that I told myself I can try to learn how to run properly. I can run 10k and 15k without breathing issues.
I am not perfect and I have many aspects of my life where I need to apply this like I did for my studies or my running.
This mindset shift will help you be a confident person overall. Since you know it will only take some time to practice what you currently suck at to be better and you don’t suck as a person.
Whatever you feel insecure about this moment, I hope you find the courage to start building the competence that will translate to confidence.
Have a great end of the week
One of the most vivid and heart-wrenching memories I hold from my university years is my first industrial drawing class. It was an early afternoon session. I walked in with my friends, a mix of nervous anticipation and curiosity swirling inside me. I sat down, ready to tackle this new challenge, but as soon as the instructor gave the first task, I froze. I had no idea where to start.
The embarrassment of not knowing felt like a spotlight was on me, and the moment was made worse by mocking comments. It wasn’t just simple critique, it felt like a jab at my ability to belong in this field. At that moment, the fragile confidence I had been trying to build shattered completely.
Being someone with a strong background in math and physics but little exposure to technical drawing, I already felt like I was playing catch-up. That day, it felt like the game was over before it had even begun.
From then on, I carried a relentless, self-critical loudspeaker in my mind, constantly broadcasting the same harsh message: “You suck at this.” Every project, every assignment, every moment in that field seemed to echo it back to me.
It wasn’t until a much bigger failure—failing my second year—that I realized something crucial: that loudspeaker needed to be muted. Or better yet, I needed to stop giving it my attention. And so, my journey to rebuild my confidence began.
If you’re struggling with self-confidence, whether it’s in your career, studies, or any other area of life, I hope this will help you.
How Confidence is Built
Here’s the first realization that changed everything for me.
You will always suck at something you’ve never done before. Unless you’re naturally gifted (a 0.01% probability), everyone starts at zero. Even the people who mocked you? They sucked at first too.
So, how do we build confidence to move forward?
- Start with Courage.
It begins with the courage to jump into something, knowing you might fail. Sucking is not a good feeling, but accepting it as part of the process makes it easier to handle. - Embrace the Process.
Once you muster the courage, keep showing up. Fail, learn, and repeat. Over time, your small wins will act as evidence to your brain that you’re capable. - Let Confidence Follow Competence.
Then you become competent and the feeling of confidence will follow..
In my final year of university, I ranked high in my class; something I never thought possible. The loudspeaker in my mind didn’t disappear entirely, but I learned to manage it. Instead of saying, “I’m not good at this,” I started saying, “I’m not good at this yet.”
This mindset shift doesn’t just apply to studies or careers. It applies to everything in life.
- Not confident about your looks? You can work on that.
- Nervous about public speaking? Practice and improve.
- Doubtful about starting a new sport? Start small and learn.
In 2020, I told myself running wasn’t for me. I could barely make it past 2 kilometres without gasping for air. But I decided to learn how to run properly. Now, I can run 10K and even 18K without breathing issues (with foot issues perhaps but we’re working on that 🙂 ).
I’m not perfect, and there are still areas in my life where I need to apply this approach. Knowing that everything, and I mean everything, is a skill you can build can give you that overall confidence you are looking for.
Final Thoughts
Confidence isn’t about being perfect or fearless. It’s about believing in your ability to improve. It’s about telling yourself, “I’m not good at this yet, but I can learn.”
Whatever you feel insecure about right now, I hope you find the courage to take that first step. Build the competence, and the confidence will follow.
You’ve got this.
If you made it so far, I hope this helps and I hope you have a great end of the week!
