Let me share the story of how I’ve lived, and continue to live, with time anxiety.
This is going to be a long one. Grab a warm drink, cuddle up and let’s chat.
Of all the vulnerable topics I can talk about, this one is where I feel the most exposed and emotional. If you relate to being time anxious, I hope you can find either solace or insightful advice you can implement.
I’ve always had a complicated relationship with time.
Actually, scratch that. Time anxiety began for me eight years ago, after what I call my “awakening” after failing my second year of university. It started when I was constantly exposed to stories of people achieving incredible things in their twenties thanks to social media. The ambition seed was planted, and I wanted the same. At one point, I even dreamed of making the Forbes 30 under 30 list.
I was 24, with six years left. The clock was ticking…
Being a woman didn’t make it easier. The looming biological clock, coupled with my desire to have kids someday, added to the pressure. I wanted to achieve something meaningful before motherhood. Around me, I saw two groups: amazing stay-at-home moms fully dedicated to their families and incredible young women entrepreneurs building great things. I felt torn between these worlds.
The anxiety kicked in hard.
I made a plan: I’d build something big in my twenties, pour all my energy into it, get it stable, and then shift my focus to family. My wise husband told me I was putting too much pressure on myself. But I felt he didn’t understand what it’s like to be a woman wanting it all but knowing you can’t have it all at the same time.
For years, I was constantly running. Every so often, I’d stop to catch my breath, only to feel a crushing guilt about why I couldn’t keep going. Writing this now, I feel a lump in my throat because of how horrible it felt.
It felt like someone was standing behind me with a whip, forcing me to run faster.
That’s what time anxiety feels like.
It became so normal I stopped noticing it. Only when my heart raced for no reason or my hands trembled did I ask, “What’s wrong with me?” The answer was always the same: This is what it takes to achieve big things. Suck it up.
The anxiety seeped into my daily life.
Most days, I felt like I wasn’t doing enough. My schedule was relentless: work, workouts, side hustles, home tasks, and personal upkeep. Twenty-four hours never felt like enough.
The result? An overworked, anxious, and perpetually unsatisfied version of myself.
Now that I’m 30, you’re probably wondering: Did the plan work?
Spoiler: it didn’t.
Looking back, I see why. I wasn’t willing to make the sacrifices required for big success in such a short time. My priorities weren’t aligned. I wanted to be a great wife, the fittest version of myself, climb the corporate ladder, and build something on the side—all at once.
That’s just not how life works.
So, What Changed?
I started questioning my beliefs.
Let’s take a step back for a second at look at time anxiety objectively.
In Ness Labs’ post on time anxiety, Dr. Alex Lickerman explains it stems from questions like:
- Am I creating enough value with my life?
- When my time is up, will I regret how I spent it?
People who struggle with time anxiety link their well-being to the value they feel they are creating with their lives.
And this couldn’t be more true for me. Every second of the day had to be optimized for value creation be it in my work, my family, or my fitness … Otherwise, no “bon point” for Imane. Imane was not worthy of existence.
How I’m Changing My Beliefs
Here’s what fueled my time anxiety and how I’m working to let it go:
- Redefining success
For years, I believed I needed to “have it all” by a certain age. But why did I believe success had such a tight deadline? I started looking at examples of women who had achieved incredible things later in life. There are mothers building empires, women starting businesses in their forties, and people redefining success at every stage.
If I wasn’t willing to make the sacrifices required to achieve massive success in my twenties, why was I holding myself to that timeline? It was time to extend my horizon and redefine what success could look like for me.
That realization left me with three choices:
- Keep chasing impossible timelines and live with anxiety.
- Prioritize one area temporarily, knowing other areas might take a backseat.
- Pursue my goals with a longer timeline and more balance.
I chose the last one.
- Redefining Worth
Spiritual growth this year taught me something profound: worthiness isn’t tied to achievement. You are worthy simply by existing and being a good human being. External achievements are bonuses, they don’t define your value. Stretching your timeline or taking a break doesn’t make you any less. - Balancing Satisfaction and Ambition
I used to think satisfaction and ambition couldn’t coexist. If you’re satisfied, how can you still push for more?
But I’ve come to see that satisfaction doesn’t kill ambition, it fuels it. You can be grateful for what you have while still striving for more. If anything, gratitude gives you a clearer, calmer foundation to build on.
Ambition without gratitude is an endless chase. Satisfaction without ambition is stagnation. The key is learning to hold both at the same time.
What I’m Doing Differently
Here’s what’s helping me:
- Enjoying the Process
One big trigger to daily time anxiety was always thinking ahead. While working on something, I was always thinking what’s next, and will I have enough time? Now, I focus on being present in the task at hand and enjoy it. Joy doesn’t have to wait for the outcome. I can find it in the process. - Living in Seasons
Life doesn’t have to be balanced every day. I used to think I had to score high in every area daily. Now, I live in seasons. Some months are fitness-focused. Other times, it’s side hustles. Some seasons are for travel and play. This mindset lets me go all-in where it matters most at that moment, while still achieving balance over time.
If you are dealing with time anxiety, you are not alone. I hope this newsletter will help you deal better with it. It all start with reshaping your beliefs. If you have any experience with time anxiety or any additional tips I would love to hear from you.
Much love,
Imane
